Borderlands Collection: Rejects
by Foryewhoartliterate
Summary: An assortment of one-shots either too short or otherwise a bad fit for Borderlands Collection, but not bad enough to never see the light of day.
1. Standing Offer

'Sup?

 _Genre: Romance/Comedy_

 _Characters: Dr. Tannis, Maya_

 **Standing Offer**

* * *

Tannis awoke with a jolt. Her mouth was dry and her clothes were soaked through with sweat. She gasped for air as if her lungs had stopped. With a few deep breaths she managed to calm herself back into a —relatively— rational state.

It was that damned dream again, she realized. The one where Maya pushed her against the wall and kissed her and ran her fingers through her hair. The one where that beautiful blue haired woman down the hall finally took her up on that standing offer and they made sweet, rough love in her lab. The one where she finally learned what else a siren's power were good for.

She licked her lips and found them very dry. Pushing herself out of bed she stumbled across the room. She shed her sweat soaked clothes as she did, tossing them into a dark corner of the room, to deal with at a later date. When she reached her dresser, she opened a drawer with one hand and grabbed a bottle sitting on top with the other. She opened the bottle and muttered a mild curse to herself as the cap fell and rolled around on the floor.

She took a sip then went looking for the cap. She found it quickly, hiding in a shadow next to a mirror. As she placed the cap back on the bottle she locked eyes with her reflection. When she stood up, she continued to look in the mirror, in a rare moment of admiration for her own figure. Her hands danced over her bare skin, and she imagined what it would feel like if those hands belonged to Maya instead.

"Why not just ask her to join you?"

Tannis spun around. "Who said that?" She grabbed a pistol from the top of her dresser. "I'll have you know I don't believe in ghosts, so you'd better not be one."

"Ghost?" The voice chuckled. "No, just a figment of your imagination. Turn around please."

Tannis turned slowly back to the mirror. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her reflection waving.

"Hello." The reflection said. "I'm you."

Tannis raised an eyebrow. "I'm not still dreaming, am I?"

The reflection shrugged. "Not as far as I know. But it could be, or it might be sleep deprivation, or hallucinations brought on by Salvador's cooking."

Tannis nodded in agreement with her doppelganger. She placed the pistol back on the dresser. "So why is it you're talking to me, hallucination?"

"I want to help you with your problem. Your siren problem."

"There's nothing to do about it, she doesn't feel the same about me as I feel about her, I'm sure of it."

"What makes you so sure?" The reflection leaned against the rim of the mirror.

"She never seems interested in me. Even when I can muster the strength and courage to not throw-up mid-flirtation." Tannis picked the water bottle up again and began sipping from it.

"Have you considered that she doesn't understand your advances?"

Tannis swallowed a mouthful of water. "Doesn't understand? What does that mean? Even I understand physical attraction and sexual desire, and I'm talking to a reflection right now."

"I'll wager she doesn't. Think about it. When you called her pretty the other day, what did she say?"

Tannis closed her eyes in thought. "She said... 'I'm pretty?' And she walked away with a confused look on her face."

Her reflection deadpanned. "And you think that somehow she understood what you were doing was flirting with her?"

Tannis chewed on her lower lip. "I hadn't considered it. I suppose I thought no one could be worse off than myself when it came to understanding relationships. Despite the, in retrospect, ample evidence to the contrary."

The reflection leaned forward. "So all you have to do…?"

"Is be more forward with her?"

"Exactly." Tannis's reflection smiled.

Tannis put down the water bottle and started towards her bedroom door. "Thank you hallucinatory reflection."

"Wait, where are you going?" The reflection tried to turn around and watch Tannis leave, with no success.

"I'm going to go be forward with Maya. About wanting to have sexual relations with her."

The reflection coughed. "Maybe you'd like to get dressed first? I don't think you need to be that blunt with her."

Tannis stopped mid-step. She looked down at herself, felt a very slight heat in her face and walked back to the dresser. She took an oversized, long sleeved shirt from the open drawer. It had Maliwan printed on the front in bright gold letters. She looked at the mirror, where her doppelganger was now similarly dressed.

"Why didn't you mention that I was still naked earlier?"

The reflection shrugged. "I didn't mind, we are the same after all."

Tannis made an amused hum and started for the door again. On the way she turned the mirror towards the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking preventative measures. If my venture is successful and we come back to my room I do not want you watching us."

"But I'm you!"

"No. You are a helpful hallucinatory reflection of my conscious, and I do not appreciate this new voyeur streak of yours."

Tannis made it to the door again, and in spite of protests from her doppelganger, she went out into the hall and walked down to Maya's door. She gave a quick knock on the metal frame of the door and awaited a response. After a short while, a very tired looking Maya appeared in the doorway. She stifled a yawn and rubbed an eye with the back of her hand.

"What is it?"

"I have been lead to believe that you do not understand some of the things I've said to you, and that I should be more blunt." Tannis watched Maya for a reaction, she got little more than a confused, tired stare.

Tannis cleared her throat. "I am attracted to you. Sexually. I think you are a beautiful woman and I would very much like it if you would accompany me back to my room to make love sometime."

Maya blinked a few times. "I…"

"A simple 'yes' or 'no' will suffice."

Maya coughed. "Uh, yes?"

"Excellent." Tannis turned to leave, then stopped herself. "Also, I seem to have a problem with a ghost in my room, do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?"

Maya shrugged, then smiled weakly. "I guess not."


	2. Filthy Habits

'Sup?

 _Genre: Romance? (Is 'Western-style sheriff looks cool while smoking' a genre? if so, it's that)_

 _Characters: Scarlett, Nisha_

 **Filthy Habits**

* * *

A spark appeared, followed by the orange flicker of a flame. Nisha's face was briefly illuminated in the glow. The light flickered out and left an orange pinpoint in the darkness, surrounded by a cloud of smoke.

Scarlett groaned. Nisha smoked her cigarette, willfully ignorant of Scarlett's reaction.

Scarlett waved the smoke out of her face. "Those'll kill you ya know."

Nisha groaned. "And so will most of my habits." She exhaled a cloud of smoke; it floated lazily towards Scarlett. "And so will most of yours, come to think of it."

"Yeah, well my habits aren't as filthy as yours."

Nisha laughed. "Yes they are. We dated, remember? I know all about your weird-ass kinks." She took another drag on her cigarette. "And remember who that's coming from."

Scarlett turned a light shade of herself, and was thankful that Nisha couldn't see it in the dark. "Those are different."

Nisha placed her cigarette in her mouth and her hands in her duster pockets. She exhaled a puff of smoke. Scarlett wrinkled her nose.

"Please," Nisha said. "Explain how."

"Well, for one, they don't smell as bad." Scarlett snatched the cigarette from Nisha's mouth and threw it on the ground.

Without missing a beat, Nisha pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. She was about to shake one loose when she saw the disapproval in Scarlett's eyes, shining through the dim light. She sighed and put the pack back into her pocket. "Fine."

Scarlett smiled. "Thank you." She nodded. "Although-"

"You'd rather I threw them out. I know." Nisha pulled out her lighter and played with it for a moment. The flame danced in her hand and cast shadows against the ground. She looked up at Scarlett, bathed in the light. "You don't plan on taking this from me too, do you?"

Scarlett shrugged. "Don't see why I would. I only get you to drop bad habits. Jack, chewing tobacco, that damn gum popping-"

"Which I'm going right back to if I'm not allowed to smoke." Nisha clicked her tongue loudly. Scarlett flinched.

"It's fine," Scarlett said. "I'll break you of that too. Again."

"Like hell you will." Nisha pulled her cigarettes out again and tapped one loose. She lit one defiantly before Scarlett could protest.

Scarlett, seeing she'd already lost, settled for another annoyed groan.

Nisha closed the distance between them, leaned in close and kissed Scarlett. Before Scarlett realized what was happening, her lungs were filled with smoke and Nisha was backing away. Scarlett coughed and sputtered. Nisha chuckled.

Scarlett reached into the breast pocket of her jacket and pulled out a stick of Maliwan brand gum. 'Shocking flavor!' the package proclaimed in bright blue letters. She pressed the gum into Nisha's hand.

"Here, pop all you damn want. Just don't do that ever again."

Nisha acted wounded. "But Scarlett, I thought that all you ever wanted was for me to kiss you?"

Oh, that's clever, you little… Scarlett turned away and muttered. "Bitch."

Nisha tossed the glowing butt of her cigarette into the night and laughed.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Smoking is bad (but you knew that). Don't do it just because Nisha looks cool.**

 **A/N: The original title of this was "Anti-Smoking PSA" until it was pointed out to me that that is a terrible title.**


	3. Nisha's Worst Nightmare

'Sup?

 _Genre: Comedy/Vaguely Romance?_

 _Characters: Captain Scarlett, Nisha_

 **Nisha's Worst Nightmare**

* * *

Nisha's eyes widened in horror. Law clattered to the hard packed dirt of Lynchwood's main street as her fingers lost their grip. A quiet, breathless, 'no' escaped her lips.

Her Echo buzzed to life, an all too familiar voice on the other end. "Admiring the posters I put up, eh Nish?"

Her eyes darted over the wall of the courthouse. It was completely covered in them. "H-how? Why?" Nisha finally managed to choke out.

"The how was pretty easy, it's really just all the material I've been threatening you with for years. With a few addition from that… excursion we took into the Sands a few months ago. If you want the technical details, my cybernetic eye isn't just for show. It also takes pictures, and oh do I have a lot of them." Scarlett cleared her throat. "As for the why, well, that's very simple. Remember that little stunt of yours, hiring mercenaries to burn down my ship and slaughter my crew? Shame on you."

Nisha's eyes took in the collage of images. Most were a scandal in their own right, and here were a hundred of them, at least, all pasted to the side of the Lynchwood courthouse.

"Still admiring?" Scarett's voice crackled through. "See that one on the bottom left, with you wearing only your hat and holster? With that look in your eyes that says 'I've been a bad sheriff, punish me Scarlett.' That's one's my favorite. I've even got a framed copy of it hanging up in my cabin. Right across from my bed."

Nisha's cheeks burned, and her fingers curled into a fist, her knuckles turning pale as she pictured Scarlett's neck in her hand. "If I ever catch you around here again…"

"You'll what? Punish me? Throw me in that biscuit tin of a jail? I'll break out. Hang me? You wouldn't, because I know that you get off on hangings, and you wouldn't give me the satisfaction. Shoot me? Not torturous enough. Try and humiliate me like I just did to you? Not bloody likely, I've got no shame as is."

She couldn't see her face, but Nisha was sure Scarlett was grinning ear to ear right now.

"You know," Scarlett said. "On second thought, maybe I like the one of you with the silk scarf wrapped around you better. It's more dignified. Plus, that was when you had short hair, before you looked like a frumpy soccer mom. Not that I don't love all of your looks, but still, I have preferences."

Nisha pulled her Echo from her belt and dropped it onto the street. She quietly breathed in, counted to three, and then slammed her boot down onto the Echo. There were a few seconds of silence.

Scarlett's barely contained laughter crackled through. "Did you just try to destroy your Echo rather than listen to me? Or even just turn it off?" Scarlett's voice came filled with heavy static from the damage. "Oh, that's rich."

Nisha brought her foot down on the Echo again. Scarlett gave up and burst into laughter.

"Look, before you break it, I should warn you to check the other side of the courthou-"

Nisha brought all her weight down on the Echo. There was a quick crackle of static as it broke into fragments, then blissful silence. It took a few seconds for Scarlett's last words to sink in.

Nisha started to walk towards the other side of the courthouse, then broke into a run after a few steps. When she reached the other side, her rage rendered her speechless for the second time in a day.

Plastered across the entire side of the building was a giant photograph of her and Scarlett, deep in the middle of a kiss. Scarlett had her hand around the back of Nisha's neck, and Nisha had both her arms wrapped around Scarlett, pulling her tight. Across the bottom of the picture, in large, flowing cursive, was written: "Love, Scarlett. Your bestie with benefits."

* * *

 **A/N: In case you haven't figured it out by now I'm "a filthy Scarlett/Nisha shipper" as my friend puts it.**


	4. Impossible to Please

'Sup?

 _Genre: Romance_

 _Characters: Scarlett, Aurelia_

* * *

Aurelia teased her fingers across Scarlett's bare shoulder as the latter slept.

She thought back on the events that had led her here. A strict order to not leave Sanctuary from Lilith, an unwanted meeting with a pirate queen across the table of a booth at Moxxi's, a botched attempt on Scarlett's life, a ruined drink and evening gown, and ultimately, a heartfelt apology from said pirate queen, with an added promise to make it up to her, "however you like." And there had been the priceless look on Scarlett's face when Aurelia mentioned that 'however she liked' involved the two of them, a bottle of champaign, and a large bed.

It was, perhaps, a bit contrived sounding. But the last two hours more than made up for the strange journey that led her to where she was.

She gave her sleeping companion a soft kiss. Scarlett stirred a little and groaned at the interruption to her sleep.

"It's late." She muttered.

"It's not that late." Aurelia said. Her fingers danced over Scarlett's back.

"It's bloody late. Besides, twice is enough for one night, don't you think?"

"I feel like we were just getting started."

Scarlett rolled over and faced Aurelia. Her eye was mostly closed, and her breath slow. "We 'just got started' hours ago. At the rate you're going we're not going to sleep at all."

"I feel that's rather the point."

Scarlett closed her eye and sighed heavily. "You're a lunatic. Go to sleep."

Aurelia muttered a few mild curses to herself. She threw the blanket off of her and sat up in bed. "Very well then. If you don't want to love me again I'll just-"

Scarlett wrapped her arm around Aurelia's waist. "Hold on." She pulled her towards her and Aurelia fell back into her spot.

Scarlett gingerly crawled on top of Aurelia and gave her a kiss just below her jaw, and slowly worked her way to her mouth. "You are… a very difficult… woman… to please." She muttered between kisses.

Aurelia smirked. "Maybe you're just not trying hard enough."

"Oh, you're mean." Scarlett put a hand over her heart and pretended to be gravely wounded. "What have I ever done to you?"

"It's not what you've done darling. It's what you're not doing right now."

Scarlett ran her hand through Aurelia's hair. "You know, even I need a break every now and then."

"You had a break. You were asleep for almost fifteen minutes."

Scarlett chuckled. "You're right. I'm surprised you gave me that much."

Aurelia put her arms around Scarlett and pulled her down, closer to her. She whispered in her ear. "Just a few more times darling?"

"A few more?" Scarlett broke into a laugh. "How about, one more?"

"Three times. Now and then twice in the morning."

Scarlett leaned in close and nuzzled Aurelia's neck. "How about never again?"

Aurelia cleared her throat. "Once now and once again in the morning. Please?" She punctuated the sentence with a soft kiss on Scarlett's collarbone.

Scarlett groaned. "Alright. Fine." She slid her hand from Aurelia's neck, down over her breast—where she lingered a few moments—then to her stomach. She slipped her hand around to the small of her back and pressed her close into a kiss. As she pulled away she muttered something under her breath.

"What was that darling?"

"I said, 'you're bloody impossible.'"

Aurelia laughed, then kissed Scarlett again.

* * *

 **A/N: What better way to celebrate femslash February than to publish something that you wrote last February, because you're unproductive?**


End file.
